i feel like writing something...

something very complicated that through writing i can sort things out.

so first i have to have something in mind that i find confusing, so i can try to sort it out.

whatever

oh yeah.

was just thinking..

i am 21 years old. lets say i will be involved in a serious relationship which is of course, long-term.

i will be in a romanic relationship this year, which applies that i will find some guy that i feel worth being together with and spending time on. and of course, worth loving.

lets say if it does happen this year

and because i assume that it would be a long-term relationship, this will go on for at least 1 year.

and then i'll be 22.

and if im going abroad for grad school, which is next year, which is the second year of me being with Mr.X.

i will have to either end the relationship or keep it up as a long-distance one. which will definitely make me hesitate and put this possibly romantic affair of seriousness in a very dangerous and unstable situation.

according to the level of my own self-awareness toward my personality, keeping up a certain kinda romantic relationship based on will power formed by formal fundation is undenialbly going to be a journey of crisis.

this provides the reason to look back on what i've pictured as in the very first step of assuming me having a serious relationship within this year.

nothing is sorted out.

but i wrote something

perfect